How Bizarre

Yesterday after I posted I learned to play How Bizarre on the acoustic guitar. It's really coming along nicely with Jenn singing the back up in the chorus "Ooooh baby, you're drivin me crazy." and Jarrad stepping in all Sen Dog style with "Everytime I look around." I'm tempted to post a video of it, but I'll spare all of you.

The Museum

Yesterday it was raining like shit here and we were hungover. What a perfect day to go to the museum. I took a few photos.

Juice Van. I don't know, anything that says Juice on it is funny, right?

This was the sculpture terrace. This was the only "sculpture" on it.

Makes for a neat picture though.

This was in the kids' "Dicovery Centre" which was supposed to have a bunch of interactive displays to help you learn. This was an animatronic baby thing that moved when you pulled levers.


Apparently "learning" in New Zealand means showing kids the creepiest thing ever in order to give them horrific nightmares.

There was a display at the museum dedicated to honouring New Zealand musical artists such as Th' Dudes, Split Enz, and these guys, New Zealand's first rap group, The Upper Hutt Posse. Great album cover. Shamefully, there was no tribute to the greatest New Zealand band of all time, OMC. What kind of fuckin museum are they running over here anyway?

Wondering what this is?

Here's a little light on it. Still not sure?

Well read the plaque that accompanied it. (Click to enlarge if you so wish.) Apparently this bird was endangered so they tried everything they could to get it to reproduce including a remote control female look-alike. But the bird wouldn't mate with anything except human heads. (But not human heads when they had the ejaculation helmet on.) I sincerely hope this fucking animal is extinct now. Sorry, some animals just deserve it. Like the Panda.

Into The Void. This was actually a display at the museum called The Void, which was basically this big black circle with a neon perimeter, with nothing about it but balconies looking down on it from as high as six floors up. Sounds like an invitation to suicide to me. I mean come on, the symbolism of killing yourself by throwing yourself into the void is just too good. No, really!

Hello Unemployment My Old Friend

I gave my two weeks notice at work today. Work for two weeks, then give two weeks notice. All the cool kids are doing it. Jarrad did it at his pizza delivery job too. But not before I got him to get me a spinach, mushroom, garlic, sundried tomato, calamari, smoked cheddar, feta, camembert, and mozza pizza.

Fuckin working is for assholes anyway. Fuck that.

I don't know, maybe tommorow, I'll wanna settle down. But until that day, I'll just keep moving on.

Round Round, Get Around, I Get Around

Well it's almost supposed to be going into fall here in New Zealand, but this last week has been the nicest weather since we've gotten here. So hot and sunny. I had nothing to do today, and Jarrad and Jenn were at work so I decided to skate downtown and take a bunch of pictures because I really haven't been showing you much of New Zealand or Wellington City besides what's on the TV, and it's actually a really cool and beautiful city. You can click any of the photos to see them full size.

Excellence In New Zealand Advertising #2. Originally I just skated all the way downtown just to take a picture of this sign because I saw it last night and thought it was hilarious.

Then I decided to skate around and take some photos. In the middle of downtown they have this really cool pedestrian bridge.

With tons of places to sit and chill and read books and whatever.


And it also has some sort of secret love cave. I think this is where you get the second best handjob in town.

Surf's up bro. This thing is fun.

This is on the other side of the bridge. This is a little courtyard thing in front of the city art gallery. The courtyard leads right to the main library too, which is an amazing library. They have the Johhny Thunders biography, Lou Reed bio, Iggy Pop bio, and a bunch of Bukowski that you have to go to a special desk to ask for that has a goddamn super model working at it who will talk to you about Bukowski. DOING! Actually the whole library has tons of babes working.

This is on the other side of the library and art gallery, the bridge leads you across a busy street, and then you are at the long stretch of the coast of the ocean. It's really nice down there.


This is the museum right along the coast. It's huge and it's free. We went there briefly and it had so much good stuff. We ran out of time, but plan to make a whole day of it some other day. (The art gallery I was talking about earlier is also free.)

Some shots of downtown.


"Samson wuz here."

Inglewood Place, always up to no good in yo' face.

You'd think that if you were so into Ian Curtis that you would graffiti a huge tribute to him, you would at least get your dates right. (It's 1956-1980.) I guess Budgie "rulz" a lot less than he thinks.

Oh oh oh ohhhhh oh, my little China Grill. You know? China Girl by Bowie? Well, me and Jarrad think it's hilarious.

The Snuggle Song By Cutie

A commercial plays about 20 times a day on MTV here advertising the ringtone for this song if you text whatever to whatever.

Every time it comes on we crank up the volume and start dancing around.

Looooooooooooooooooove this song!

Bizzaro World

In New Zealand, the Siraulch sauce looks different:

And all the plug ins have switches on them. Also, it's ridiculous how few plug ins our apartment has. One per bedroom, one in the bathroom, 3 in the living room/kitchen. It's ridiculous.

Oh yeah, and the plug in itself sort of looks like a surprised Chinese man.

Yeah That's Right

The store I work at carries a brand called Doosh. And the pants are super fuckin wide and lame, and perhaps even raverish. Quite an apt name.

Yeesh

One night me and Jarrad were going through the channel listings to see what was on, and we noticed a show called "Eddie Vs. Spencer." We both said to eachother "No way, there's no way this could possibly be what we think it might be."

So we went to that channel, and we only had to stay on the show for less than a minute to realize that it definitely WAS some sort of complete rip off of Kenny Vs. Spenny.

God, could you pick a worse show to copy?!

Then again, Simpsons an Family Guy are on all day long here, and I've only seen Seinfeld twice since I got here.

Fuckin asshole kiwis.

Another Hard Day At The Office

I got a job today, well yesterday/today.

The other day I saw and add on the internet here for a "Part-time shift manager" at a skateshop here called Fusion. It seemed like it was right up my alley as I don't want to work full time, and how could you be better qualified for the job than me?

Remember when I told some of you that I was getting 5 weeks vacation time paid out after I left work? Well it ended up changing so that I could only get 2 weeks paid out, but I wasn't that bummed. However, the vacation pay I was waiting for never went through, and I had to e-mail the payroll department at work to get it. Well long story short, I somehow hooked up those other 3 weeks of vacation time. And on top of that, I got paid for the last week that I worked before I left, and I got a monthly incentive cheque I wasn't expecting, which was for more than a whole week's work. So basically since I've left Canada I will be getting paid the equivalent of almost two months work. On top of that, I probably will have a tax return before I leave. So what I am trying to say is that I actually don't need to work. And I found this all out yesterday before I applied for the job, and I was seriously considering not going to apply. But I also decided that I am going to go to Australia for 2 weeks, and Japan for 2 or 3 weeks, and that is pretty expensive, so maybe I could use the work. Plus, we really don't know anyone here, and me and Jarrad and Jenn just sit around doing nothing by ourselves most of the time, so this could be a good way to meet some friends and some guys to skate with. Plus, it seems lots of babes work at this store, and babes hang out with babes.

So that big long story was to set up the fact that I wasn't even sure that I wanted to apply for that job yesterday, in fact I was actually kind of bummed on the idea of getting a job, but I went and applied anyway. I got an interview on the spot, and she asked me to come in the next day (today) for a trial shift to see how I did. Well I went in for a two hour shift today, and she offered me the job and asked me to work tomorrow. Yeesh. Work again. Oh well, it doesn't seem too bad in there. I'll give it a try, see if I can meet some people, and if worse comes to worse, I'll just quit. It's not like I need them for a reference or anything. Besides I already lied to them and told them I would be here for at least 6 more months, and I failed to mention my little trips I am planning to take, although they never asked. So yeah, I kind of feel like a dick, but whatever. I also told them I didn't want to work more than 3 days a week, so it can't be TOO bad.

Oh yeah, when she asked if I wanted to work tomorrow I said "Sure, what time?" And she said "Ummmmm how about 11:00?"
"Ooooooooh I don't know, I got some sleeping in to do."
"Okay, 12:00."

Might turn out alright.

Excellence In New Zealand Advertising

This ad is on every single night on one of the channels here at pretty much every single commercial break from midnight to two in the morning.

I love the googly eyes on the chaffed vag. The song is pretty killer too. "Do we have to suffer and cryyyyyyyyyy the whole day throuuuuuuuuuugh?!"

This commercial is usually sandwiched between two ads, one for a hydroponics store where a cheap digital effects dinosaur pops up and breaths a beam out of it's mouth that says "Budzilla" on a plant, and the plant grows, and another ad for a male supplement called "Sperm-O-Max." The "O" in Spermo-O-Max looks like a jizz shot.

Good stuff down here.

Egg Wig

There's this really awesome restaurant here called Satay kingdom.

Jenn and Jarrad took me here the first week I was here, and I had a seafood laksa, and it was amazing, but after I had already ordered, and was waiting for my food, I saw a server walk by with what appeared to be a mound of fried rice with an egg wig on top. At that point I became obsessed with the Egg Wig, and talked about it all the time. Well finally just on Saturday I was able to actually realize my dream of eating the egg wig.

It definitely lived up to my expectations.

It had a nice bit of spice to it, and it was filled with tons of little scrimps, and it was so much food. Seriously, you know a portion is big if I can't finish it (which I didn't.) And on top of all that, the egg wig only costs about $6 Canadian. The Coke and the roti bread there weren't included. Still cheap as hell though.

This is upstairs from Satay Kingdom, I just thought it was a nice picture.

Satay Kingdom is located just off of Cuba street here, which is right downtown and is a pedestrian street, you know with no traffic and shit. This is the little side corridor or whatever that you walk through to get to the restaurant.

And this is Cuba street. This place is packed with people all day, all night. All the popular bars are along here, so it's a great place to walk around and drink and go to bars on any night. Good during the day too. Tons of weirdies, freakos, and scumbags to check out. And babes.

Lots of panhandlers and buskers too. I asked Jarrad if he wanted a picture with the "Slavic family" and he said "Uhhhhhh yeah."

Fanciest Burger King in the world. I can't believe the city let a fast food chain move into such a nice building. I went to this Burger King later when I was drunk, and they have crazy late night combos because Cuba is the drunk street. So they have like 8 combos called "The Late Shift" and "The Midnight Hour" and shit like that, and they all feed anywhere from 2 to 4 people.

Ummmmm yeah I just liked the cut of this guy's jib, so I blasted him. Despite the look on his face, he didn't notice.

Jarrad and Jenn took the bait on this guy who had this set up, and ended up getting caught in a christian trap, where they proceeded to get into a theological debate with the dude. I just plopped down on a bench and moaned and groaned like a baby.

Then later that night we were drinking at home getting ready to go out, and the house next door was having a big party with super loud crazy techno-pop music. It sounded like they were listening to Autobahn over there. Upon further investigation (looking out the window), we realized that there was a guy doing this music singlehandedly live, and so I drunkenly strolled over and asked whose party it was, explained we lived next door and were from Canada and didn't know anyone and could we join the party. Turned out being some girl's 21st birthday party, and she was down, so we stayed for a few songs, drank some beers and danced.

Here's a video of the guy in action.

After that we headed back to Cuba street and drank some more, I got super wasted and then as I mentioned, went to the fanciest Burger King on earth and ordered the "Hell Raiser" meal. I have no idea why it was called that. It was a burger with avacado, and some sort of weird relish that was more like sauteed onions. It was'nt spicy at all.

The end.

Food Stuffs

This is what I have every morning for breakfast.

And this is what I have every night for supper.

Reason #2

I was originally gonna make these reasons why Jon would love New Zealand, and this was the whole reason I had for it:

Reason #2 New Zealand is goood: You don't tip here. You don't tip waitresses at bars or resteraunts, you don't tip bartenders, you don't tip pizza boys, and you don't tip cab drivers. It's fucking great.

Roun' My Hood

Went out and took some pictures.

New Zealand gets freaaaakayyyy:


Super ironic business slogan:



New Zealand is way more hardcore than North America, we're trying to No-Xplode, while down here they're going straight for the Xplode


These speed bumps are fun, they're fuckin huge and they're on almost every sidestreet here, and they are really funny to ollie while you are cruising around. Some are a little more flat on top.


This building is a couple of blocks away. There are marks on it that look like it may have been skated. Looks fun.


If you ever come to New Zealand, I implore you not to eat a bag of these. Seriously.